Hussy-ness, or Lack Thereof

It’s a little ironic that I stumbled upon this post today.

Why?

Eric and I had a pretty long conversation last night; the kind that wanders and meanders and goes in circles, until you look at the clock and realise it is way past your bed time.

And one of the topics happened to be kissing and when and why and what it all means.

Now, I’m pretty liberal. I like kissing. I think it’s fun and kissing isn’t akin to marriage or anything, but it is pretty intimate. I’ve been of mixed opinion lately, because my past experience has been that once the kissing occurs, the flood gates are open and it’s pretty hard to keep the tide in.

My liberality does not mean that welcome unchatse occurances, but experience has borne that once the kissing occurs, guys think they have an all access pass, and given my weakness for all things carnal, I let them through the gate without hassling them about their security clearance.

So, it’s a bit refreshing to go on a number of dates with the same guy, but not have him so much as peck me on the cheek, never mind ram his tongue down my throat.

But it’s a little confusing, too, because it leads to thoughts like… is there something wrong with me? Am I not attractive? Am I reading the signs wrong? Is there broccoli in my teeth?

So, the conversation has to occur. And I try to find a nonchalant way to make it occur. Was it casual? I’d like to think I am justsoclever, but perhaps I am transparent.But I had to know. And now I know what type of guy he is and whether he is worth spending time with. As things get busier, time grows more precious, and the opportunity cost is higher.

I’m not sure that there is anything more attractive than a guy who wants to really get to know someone before even kissing them, because kissing is just that important and you don’t just kiss anyone.

That is so cute that I just want to kiss him…

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2 responses to “Hussy-ness, or Lack Thereof

  1. So… the post was funny, both to laugh with people’s experiences and reflect on my own. (okay, so “petting” was relatively easy vocabulary to decipher in my youth, but really, “necking?” …yeah…)

    I like kissing. I think it’s fun and kissing isn’t akin to marriage or anything, but it is pretty intimate. I’ve been of mixed opinion lately, because my past experience has been that once the kissing occurs, the flood gates are open and it’s pretty hard to keep the tide in.

    Amen is about all I can say there. It’s been a fun experience recently in that with this current relationship I’ve deliberately been trying to not move things too fast. Now, I love being playful and creating some suspense through teasing, but that’s not the same as holding back.

    But I did try to hold things out until the appropriate moment, and it has gone well. While drawing lines has never been my forte we established one for the moment when during a lingering goodnight kiss after a fabulous date she recoiled slightly when I (somewhat unconsciously) ventured my tongue forward. I mean, in my experience, if we’re going to be sitting here for too much more than just a short kiss goodnight, it kind of goes with the territory. As it’s one more tool for making things interesting and playful, kissing with no tongue or wandering leaves fewer options for variations that make things interesting and playful.

    While it’s taken a little getting used to, I totally respect the boundary that was set, and realize it’s good in keeping the floodgates from flying open, so to speak, since I have to check myself at an earlier, rather than later point. It certainly had not prevented kissing and has likely augmented great mutual affection. I just have to remember that, for now, I have to limit my creative ventures moreso. I’ve concluded that’s a good thing.

  2. Oh child…you are making me dread the thought of ever dating again. The year is up and I can now file for a divorce. Like you I love to kiss, but unlike you I’m old and clueless about dating. Maybe I should go to my kids, who are your age, and get a refresher course on ‘the birds and the bees’.

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