Progress

So, Operation Cook My Own Food is starting off splendiferously. I somehow managed to stretch my favorite dish ever into three separate meals. I’m thinking of naming it the Miracle of the Couscous.

My grocery bill isn’t even suffering for it. $30-$40 a week for food is actually much less than I spend eating out. Go me!

Granted, I’ll still be going to restaurants every once in a while, but I think fast food visits will be few and far between. I’m not very good advertisement for my own business.

C’est la vie!

Eating Better

 

The entire contents of my refridgerator are pictured above. Strawberry jam, mayo, butter, and a piece of chicken I rescued from the freezer to become part of my dinner tonight. (The surrounding items all belong to the family, who actually eat like normal people.)

Now. I’ve been trying to eat healthier, and failing quite fantastically. I have cut out fried foods almost entirely, and I have 15 less pounds to show for it, but that is about as far as it goes. Almost 100% of the food I consume does not come from my own kitchen. When I don’t feel like going out, I just don’t eat.

There is something very wrong with that.

The most ridiculous part of that statement is that I enjoy cooking. It’s a visceral, homey, inviting feeling the entire time I do it. And the pleasure of actually eating the food trumps it all. Fast food is cheap and easy, but it is completely unsatisfying. It makes eating into a chore, instead of a pleasure.

So, I have a new goal. Instead of focusing on eating healthier, I am going to focus on eating better, on actually enjoying every bit of food I consume. I figure that way, the healthier will take care of itself.

And I will take care of myself.

Trying to Do Better

I’ve always been an advocate of loving one’s job. Even with the current downturn in the economy, most people could find a new job, if they were hard-pressed to. My philosophy is if you don’t love what you do, you should change what you do, until you love what you do again; it’s the only way to truly maximize one’s utility.

And yet, I find myself truly unhappy at work, and unwillingly to change jobs. The thing is, I love my job. I have loved, loved, loved it in the past, and I feel like I can love, love, love it again. Just because I find myself in a challenging, unpleasant stituatin, doesn’t give me license to throw in the towel.

And mentally, I have been throwing in the towel. I survive shifts instead of run them. I let things slide that I know I never should. And part of me cares that I am doing (or not doing, as it were) these things, but before now, it hasn’t been a big enough part.

When did I give myself permission to behave this way? I must have been drinking that night.

I need to prove, if only to myself, that I am better than this, and I am not going to let some adverse circumstances stand in the way of remaining a principled person. I have standards, and they need to be upheld.

****

Outside of work, life is great, besides the tired bits. We’re gearing up for a move, and I really need to start in on the packing and organizing and just throwing stuff away. I have waaaaaay too much stuff. I think I would feel better if I just took a can of gasoline and a match and just burned it all.

It’d be much easier than packing!

School starts in one week. It really snuck up on me. I only have time for two classes this semester, but that’s two more closer to the goal.

College Algebra will be easy, but most likely time consuming. Freaking problem sets. I shouldn’t have to take the damn remedial math class anyway. I have mad econometric/intermediate micro skills, which require a basic understanding of calculus. I should have been allowed to take pre-calc, but that turned out to be a losing battle.

Psychology will also be pretty easy, and a lot of fun, but probably time consuming as well, as it is an online course, and those are always pretty work heavy, to make up for the lack of class time.

I’m really mentally unprepared for academic pursuits, though. I’m still in my work myself silly, stay up late, and never sleep mode.

And let’s be honest, I’ll probably stay in that mode even while classes are in session.

Because that’s how I roll.

I know, I know

I’ve been very neglectful and bad in not updating lately.

Work is just wearing me out. I woke up a mere hour ago, and I am still pretty exhausted. It doesn’t leave much room for writing. I can’t write with a head this foggy. And lately, my head is always this foggy.

Add two classes into the mix, and it doesn’t seem that blogging is in my future. Which is a little selfish, because I spend ample time reading others’ blogs, and don’t like when they don’t update.

Oh, well, I am a brat.

So, who wants to spank me?