Happiness in Two Bowls

It took me a little while, but my happiness isn’t found behind a counter; it’s usually right there on the counter, and it often comes in a bowl.

For the longest while, I tied my self worth to my net worth, and my empowerment to my spending power. 

I am such the silly girl. 

A few days ago, I put in my two weeks’ notice. In a week and a half, I will be jobless.

But I will be happy.

Day One

I took Day One seriously. 

And I mean seriously. I broke out the vacuum and all!

After gathering up all the laundry, separating the clean from the dirty, folding it, organizing it, and putting it away–and then laundering the dirty, I feel an odd sense of accomplishment. Even bordering on empowerment. 

I could actually invite someone over and allow him to see my room. Hell, I could fit another person on my bed. Amazing!

Now I just need to keep it up. 

Yeah… One day at a time.

Battered Housewife

I know everybody hates their license picture, much like most cringe at the sound of their own voices, but mine takes the cake. 

Anyone who sees it draws back in abject horror and simply says, “Crystal!” 

I look like a battered housewife. Like he had to tell me twice. Both of my eyes look black and swollen. What do you want after a year and half of 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I was tired. 

Kind of like I am now. The only difference is I have now slept 8 hour nights for two nights in a row and my eye hurts. 

Once again, I look like a battered wife, but the why is a mystery. While I was already meeting with my doctor, I asked her about it, and apparently, it exhibits all the symptoms of a sty, but no sty is to be found. So, just meaningless pain and ugliness. Awesome!

It has been the theme of the week, actually. I spent Wednesday night puking my guts out (ugly and meaninglessly), in complete, raw throat pain, praying for relief.

Thursday was spent in bed, weak and tired and cranky and heavy, just not moving. I thought maybe strep throat.

Went to the doctor today and the sum total of all of my ailments is a higher dose of my current meds, something to help with the anxiety, maybe I have crazy allergies, and maybe a sty will appear over the weekend.

All this pain amounts to a big nothing. There is nothing really wrong with me, but I am going to stay in bed, just in case.

I don’t want him to have to tell me twice.