Why Crystal is Not Allowed in Bookstores

books.jpg

I realize that my picture taking skills are lacking. It is a camera phone after all, so here is the list, all bought this morning, when I should have been studying anyway:

  • Thank You For Smoking (DVD)
  • Jesus Land
  • Through Painted Deserts
  • The Seven Storey Mountain
  • The Philospher’s Handbook (I like a little philosophy with my religion)
  • The Tender Bar
  • The Memory Keeper’s Daughter
  • Clay Aiken’s Latest CD

I would link them all for you, so that you’d know all about the books and who wrote them and such, but I am too lazy. Amazon them yourself. Amazon should be a verb, just like Google. You read it here first.

By way of explination and defense of myself, I haven’t bought any books for a while, and I need to replace the couple hundred I’ve lost to the fact that the One Who Birthed Me was holding a lot of my books for me, but then she went and stole my identity, so I don’t expect to get them back anytime ever.

And there are less books than should be on the list, because I FORGOT (the horror!) that part of my purpose in going to the bookstore was to look for that new translation of the Inferno. The one with the reference to The Devil Went Down to Georgia. I kid you not.

Anyway, one of the books was actually free, in one of those buy two get one deals. Through Painted Desserts was an impulse buy, because it sounds like Killing the Buddha, which I loved. But I may be just setting myself up for dissapointment, because obviously it can’t be the same and what I really what is more KTB.

The Seven Storey Mountain was what I actually went in for, and the Philosopher’s Handbook caught my eye and serves to balance all the religion. Thank You For Smoking needs no defense. Best Movie Ever. Okay, maybe not ever, but totally awesome.

And there really is no defense for the Clay Aiken, but I just couldn’t resist.

::hangs head in shame::

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4 responses to “Why Crystal is Not Allowed in Bookstores

  1. Clive Davis Fan

    Clay Aiken is quite possibly the best artist from American Idol, however; I believe the following reasons why the CD “A Thousand Different Ways” is NOT selling:

    1 – He waited 3 years to put out a sophmore album. When he was on AI, it was early 2003. It is fall of 2006. Some of the fans have assumed he would be a “one-hit-wonder” and kind of moved on.

    2 – An album of covers. He has more covers than original songs. That is never a good idea. Also, the covers are very boring and not upbeat. They don’t showcase his potential at all and make him seem rather “karaoke”.

    3 – This album is not even close to being as upbeat as “Measure of a Man” and Clay promised many people that he would put out a more upbeat album next time. He put out the opposite.

    4 – Obsessed fans of other artists are immature and fear threatened by Clay, so they call in different stores and ask to hold CDs. They, then, go into stores and hide the CDs and some people even resort to the lowest of the low and breaking them. (Apparently this was caught on tape)

    5 – This scandal, the rumors, etc are not having a good impact on some of the type of women Clay attracts. Most don’t believe the story, but there are people that do and have seperated the man from the music and chose to believe the lies and shut Clay out, regardless of how good he sings.

    6. Promotion. Airplay. etc. I have never heard any new songs from Clay’s new album at all on the radio. He does talk shows, but there many that don’t watch those shows or follow Clay religiously to know he is on those shows.

    Clay has so much more potential, than what he is currently delivering. However; he became famous and gained a record deal through a reality show. Even though he is no longer on the contract of American Idol, he is still a “puppet” and a strategy. He only has limited decision making in anything he does. This is what happens when you get a record deal through a television show. It seems too good to be true and it is (as there are many plusses), but there are minuses too.

  2. Grammar Whore Alert!

    So, ever since English class with a fabulous teacher senior year of high school, I became somewhat obsessive over certain commonly made errors that we reviewed. It is than with utter anal-retentiveness (but not literally) that I use my wikiabilities to edit “there are less books than should be…” to “there are fewer books than should be…”

    The sentence can start with “And” though. I have many fewer qualms about that.

    Now that I’ve had my moment, I must express my sympathy at your books being held hostage, in a way. Is there any way to enlist a third party who is not self-prohibited from visiting the OWBY to retreive them for you?

  3. Shouldn’t it be, ‘ it is then’ ?

    Sorry, one good turn deserves another, but gee, I thought I was the grammar Nazi…

    Sadly, I don’t have anyone to enlist to rescue my books. ::tear::

  4. Just say you bought the Clay Aiken CD because it’s “camp.” That’ll fool the snobs, damn them.

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