It seems that this is the week that tragedy chooses to brandish its burn.
I know because this is the week that had been April Vacation when I was in school, and it is the week that precedes my birthday.
Oklahoma City Bombing.
And now Virginia Tech.
I’ve purposefully avoided most of the media coverage. I just don’t want to know. I don’t know how to reconcile optimism with the world we actually live in.
But its impossible to avoid all of the news. Most of my perspective on this comes from my Glenn Beck obsession. I can turn off the news, but not the Glenn.
Anyway, I digress.
I’m left with a feeling of despair.
Or, more precisely, why bother?
What is the point of all the cooking, and cleaning, and studying? What does it all do, besides keep me wrapped up in a world of contrivances?
None of this life I lead feels real. It feels artificial and constructed. I don’t do things because I have this short life to live, and to feel, and to learn.
I do it because I need 22 more credits to get my degree. I do it because the rent is due. I do it because it is what I perceive to be most acceptable to society, whatever that is, and why ever I think that is important.
And that just seems wrong.