It’s at times like this. 2 AM, home from work and fighting sleep, that the loneliness is concrete.
The funny thing is that I am not alone. A whole 20 ft away is the roommate, formerly the fiance, but that relationship is as strained as you might imagine.
When classes are in session, I barely have time to think, never mind dwell, but the 40 hour summer work weeks leave me with too much time on my hands.
And it’s not a romantic relationship longing, though a little intimacy, to put it politely, would be welcomed.
What I really want is a once a week boyfriend. Someone who will settle for one date a week and plenty of phone time. But I doubt he exists. And I don’t even need that.
I would even be happier if I got to spend more outside of work time with Johanna, or if Jen lived closer, or of it wasn’t an hour and a half to my grandparents’ house. Or if people I missed would return my phone calls. Just a little acknowledgment is all I’m asking.
Or maybe I just need some sleep.