Stream of Conscience

The pity party is officially over. It has been just a little ridiculous. I got into this headspace where I convinced myself that my life sucks and I’ll never be loved and I’ll never be anything.

The real fact of the matter is that my life does not suck, I’ll be somebody someday, and maybe someday, some stupid, foolish boy might fall for my irresistable charms.

And I won’t blame him. Average looking witty girls need lovers, too.

First day of class was yesterday, and the verdict is that math classes should not be that long. I tried my best to pay attention the whole time, but I am almost phyiscally incapable of staying on one topic that long, especially without a break of any sort.

Though I feel completely above College Algebra, I have decided that since I am spending $700 on this course, and I have no choice in taking it, I might as well embrace it as a learning experience. Surely, I don’t know everything about Algebra.

I still don’t feel like a student, though. I am 100% entrenched in a work mindset.

Work is looking up these days. The atmosphere has changed in a positive direction, helped in no small part by the 40% drop in business that comes after Labor Day.

The social life is… busy, but not in the satisfying way I’d like. I am getting and taking offers that I frankly do not want. And I don’t say no, because, well, I only say no when I am feeling cheeky and looking to get something in return for my brattiness.

I mean, it is not all bad socially. I have a small group of friends, including some new additions, that are worth spending my time with, because they are worth my time. I’m forgiving Justin for not forgiving my oversleeping today, but for the most part, I am not dealing with people who are too needy, or rude, or just annoy me.

The quarter-life crisis, and stirring in my soul, is quite over.

I prefer the big girl scene to the little girl one any day. Time to put on those big girl panties.

And maybe some knee socks.


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